Ian Brown Vs Parklife ROUND TWO: Attack of the crazy students

After a good night’s sleep (which was full of dreams about monkeys with mullet haircuts dressed in parkas...) I awoke on Saturday morning raring to go for round two of The Warehouse Project’s Platt Fields Park weekender – aka Parklife. Despite having experienced the intense queuing system during the previous night’s Ian Brown gig, I was naively unaware of just how chaotic the entrance to Platt Fields Park would be on this particular sunny afternoon. Masses of students and youngsters, all dressed in bang-on-trend uniforms from Top Shop, descended on the Fallowfield location. Attempts from these young cool folk to jump the snaking queue were met with boos and chants from the crowd, followed by being removed from the premises by no-sense-of-humour-security. Get back in your place young man.

The day-long festival was spread over a much greater area on the Saturday compared to Friday, with seven tents/stages (instead of three) and much more entertainment, including a silent disco hidden away in a secret garden and a giant inflated elephant (which I think had been a bouncy castle at one point). Attempts to watch the England Vs USA match on the big screen lasted for about ten minutes after the need for more beer and also the loo (don’t get me started on the toilet queues btw...) took over. The silent disco was a much better way to spend half an hour or so, and even got me and my fella dancing to *insert Bo Selecta! voice here* Craig David.Oh dear.

With a lineup consisting of Fake Blood, Kele, Kissy Sell Out, Calvin Harris and Simion Mobile Disco, the organisers were very much attracting a different audience from the previous night. All of the DJs and acts I saw were energetic, stupidly fun and really got the crowd jumping. An extra thumbs up to Simion Mobile Disco who made me wish I was five years younger (and I’m not even that old) so I could stand the sweaty heat of the tent to dance for just another five minutes longer. Finally, headliner Friendly Fires did not disappoint. With the crowd singing along and dancing to all their hits such as Jump in the Pool and Paris it was a fantastic way to end a great day. Roll on next year’s summer offering from the Warehouse Project please!

What is a 'Manc'?

During my recent research into Manchester and its culture, I came across this useful definition of what a ‘Manc’ is, courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

Manc
Mancunian - Inhabitant of the city of Manchester, Northern England. Unfairly stereotyped as wearing kappa trackies (all chavs wear em, not just Manc chavs), stealing, being gangmembers and acting like Liam Gallagher or as though they're straight out of the cast of Shameless. ALL stereotypes are UNTRUE.

Manchester is the main city in the North and is the 3rd largest city in England. It is the birthplace of Socialism/Communism; many famous people such as Alan Turing, who designed the first electronic computer at the University of Manchester, are Mancunians.

They don't rob everything in sight like scousers. Most peadophiles are from the south and Shipman was from Hyde which is in Tameside, not Manchester. In general, the best kind of people.

Examples of Manc speech:

-I hate them smackhead emos round Urbis.

-Some scouser scallies tried to rob me but I kicked em back down the east lancs, sorted.

-Dead right mate.

So, there you go.

Ian Brown Vs Parklife ROUND ONE: The Mancunian Stereotype

If you passed by Platt Fields Park this weekend, no doubt you would have been witness to many a Ian Brown wannabe or many a student so drunk he couldn’t cope with the British legacy that is queuing.

On 11th and 12th June, the people who brought you the Warehouse Project (a fantastic and much needed – if not slightly overpriced – set of club nights in Manchester, which started off in the disused Boddingtons Brewery in 2006 and now takes place under Piccadilly Station for the Autumn/Winter clubbing and gigging season) put on a jolly good show in Fallowfield consisting on the Friday of headliner Ian Brown, supported by the likes of tried ‘n’ tested Mr Scruff and a tent sponsored by old school Hacienda peeps. Then on the Saturday, an array of dance and electro acts supported main band Friendly Fires for the ‘Parklife’ leg of the weekend. (And yes, it’s already been pointed out that the organisers named this day-long festival after a BLUR song *shock horror* when we all know that Blur and Oasis had a hand-bags-at-dawn-fall-out during the Britpop period. But, get over it. The event was set in a park. And there were people there. Many people were living life in the park for the day and best part of the night. Therefore, Parklife was a more than suitable name for the shindig. Yes? Yes.).

So, round one – Ian Brown. After only a couple of pints, I thought I was seeing double. Then I thought I was seeing quadruple. Then I thought I was seeing zillionuple. Who, or what, were these people dressed in the same uniform, talking the same talk and walking the exact same walk (not to mention choreographed dance moves)? Dear lord, I had entered the church of Ian Brown.

Prior to the event, I had been told (warned?) that: “Seeing Ian Brown in Manchester is like a religious gathering. Enjoy.” Hmmm. I wasn’t sure if I was a fan of religion. Nor that much of Mr Brown (sorry). So what was I – and the other few thousand who all looked remarkably like the man they all had come to see (standard shaggy bowl haircut, trenchcoat, swagger and gurn) – in store for?

Disappointingly, a few of the main stage acts seemed to have cancelled (Scratch Perverts and Mike Pickering were nowhere to be seen, which got me and my £3 programme completely in a tizz), but when in doubt, go see your friend Mr Scruff. Great beard, tasty tea and move-your-ass DJ sets – what’s not to like? Spinning his plastic in one of the smaller tents, Mr Scruff (aka Mr Andy Carthy) performed a funky soulful set which got the entire crowd shaking their hips, waving their arms, smiling slightly idiotically and hugging random strangers. Beautiful.

More mooching (and beer) was to be had after Mr Scruff. This quickly turned into a game of “who is the biggest Ian Brown wannabe/Manc cliché?” Then suddenly (and I mean suddenly – where had the Mike Pickering set on the main stage gone???) Mr Monkey Man himself came swaggering on to the stage. The crowd’s ears, nose and skin pricked up as it sensed its Messiah summoning it.

Mr Brown kicked off with Stone Roses classic “I Wanna Be Adored”. Out of tune? Yes. Cocky bastard? Oh yes. Sing-a-long crowd pleaser? Absolutely. Ian Brown played a belter of a set, ranging from early Stone Roses through to his more recent stuff. And if I had been a believer, rather than an atheist, I’m sure I would have seen some sort of light when he played F.E.A.R (everyone else in the crowd, with their arms held high, seemed to). All in all, I really enjoyed Ian Brown. It was completely what I expected – but enjoyable nonetheless. And a major factor of that was the crowd. The atmosphere was Manc and proud. I left Platt Fields Park with a swagger in my stride and a smile on my face.

Round 2 – Parklife… to be continued…